This Eclipsing and Retrograding cycle among many things so far, has gifted me with the unlovable, vulnerable, scared parts of me to come to the surface. (FYI: Astrological portals opening don't give an eff that you aren't ready or thought you worked that issue out in 2012) but I have also found treasures. I have experienced reminders that this path I am on was written in the stars. I accessed reminders of my strength, humanity, and capacity to love.
It has made me think about what loving me as I descended into the underworld has been like? My usual super chill about life demeanor was accompanied by an unrecognizable creature: cranky, emotionally raw, and a little reactive. She was a stranger to myself and others (not that this is a "bad" part of me, but clearly a part that needs more attention). Those folks close to me who rely on me to anchor them when they are experiencing turbulence freaked out a little. Those who I wanted to love and comfort me were out of communication range because they are on their own soul pilgrimage and it broke my heart.
What has liberated me and brought me back to myself was love. In reality, no one had done anything to hurt me. Did I want to be seen, understood, held, and loved better? Emphatically yes and am not giving up on that need. However, loving and tending my tenderness because I had no other choice, helped me have a breakthrough in transforming a story that needed to be released. This experience brought me back home to me where I can, with clear eyes and loving heart, not take things personally and see the lesson and the gift. Well for now, because let's keep it real and in the moment.
Love has also allowed me to see what suffering looks like in my family and their own personal journeys of grief, transitions, and uncertainty...with more compassion. Love reminded me that healing requires time, space, radical trust, and not getting attached to an outcome. It showed me that spirit will align things in divine order as long as we keep doing our inner work. When we are exhausted and lose our way and are all set with the inner work, love will love us anyway.
May we recognize Love and allow it in, may we share it abundantly in the places that need it, may we embody it in all that we do. May Love set us free.