~writing that email and sending it while I'm crying...
~shopping while I'm lonely
~social media trolling and not doing my work
~smiling and pretending I'm not grieving
~saying yes to things I don't want to do
~eating out of boredom
~beating myself up (still) for a decision/conversation/relationship from 5 years ago
~blaming my ex/parents/children/job/errbody for all of your suffering
~contorting yourself to the point of not recognizing yourself
~lying through your teeth in order to be "nice" or keep the "peace"
....is bad for my health.
Thank you Ice Cube for that wisdom and inspiration today.
Yesterday we talked about sitting with the empty space that is created and what is revealed when we shift things around. To observe inside of yourself what it feels like when you are letting go of something...or even what it feels like in your body the moment you decide to make that change. Sometimes it is the big things like a move, a relationship entering or leaving your life, a job change, a healing, parenthood, or a death. Sometimes it's having the courage to say I have a dream I want to work on it and say it out loud and be witnessed.
Other times it happens moving the furniture in your room and finding a corner full of dust, that missing shoe, a picture strip of you and your ex that ripped your heart out, and a favorite book you thought you lost. Sifting through the dust that accumulated because of that deep sadness that sucked out all of your energy and motivation to do more than the minimum, that shoe that was flung off after an incredible night of dancing with all of your soul, that ex who was such a wonderful teacher and reminded you that Only You can set your value and worth...so your fly self could no longer tolerate the whackness and you moved on, and that book that always shows up right on time to give you the perfect word swaddle your heart needs because books do that.
Beloveds, don't rush it. Let the Retrograde slow you enough to notice the details and learn the lessons before moving forth...so you can move forth lighter, brighter, clearer, and stronger. You got this!